20-year-old refuses to meet his nieces and nephews after older siblings poor treatment growing up, his parents back up his decision: “Your siblings are in the wrong”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Aug 24, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

Family is always a complicated issue. It doesn't matter where you grow up, what religion you are, what language you speak, or what year you're born, everyone has some beef with their family. We all have our pain, our hurt, our lost inner child who just wants to mend the bad feelings. As adults, we have autonomy, we have choices. The older I get, the more I realize our power in our everyday lives, and how none of us are victims. Some people are born with a mental illness, and that's a different story. But grown adults who act like children? That's not excusable, nor is it an accident. It's an active choice to remain unlearned, immature, and childish. If someone wants to take their childhood pain and bad memories and lay it like a blanket on top of their interactions as an adult, then so be it. 

There's no controlling other people, and there's never a good time to walk away from a situation where people will get hurt. But it ultimately is the most necessary thing we can do for ourselves. In the story below, the protagonist puts his foot down. 

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  • 01

    AITA for giving my siblings what they want by refusing to spend time around them and their kids?

    Cheezburger Image 10535457280
    via Gustavo Fring from Pexels / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I'm (20m) 12 years younger than my sister and 14 years younger than my brother. And I remember them always disliking me. I'm 100% their full bio brother. My
    via u/Lulollio
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    parents are my bio parents. That is something I used to ask myself but dad and I did 23&Me to alleviate my fears of that. What my parents think is my siblings
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  • 04
    were jealous of me when I was born and extended family believe the same. They never seemed that excited and they used to act like I was so crazy and wild and out of control.
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  • 05
    They even said stuff about me being impossible to control when nobody else was around. But they were never alone with me. They avoided me when I was a kid and
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  • 06
    moved out while I was still young. But I was maybe 10 when they talked about me being a terror as a little kid. They even called me a monster and said I almost put them off having kids.
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  • 07
    Our relationship never changed. They ignore my birthdays, they ignored my graduation, they didn't invite me to their weddings or baby showers. And they have said in group chats repeatedly
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    that they don't want me around to be a bad influence to their kids. That they don't want their kids to be wild little monsters like I used to be. Everyone has called
    via u/Lulollio
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    them on their sh but they say they will not let me influence their kids. Nobody else has ever complained about me as a kid like that. At school I was
    via u/Lulollio
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    considered too quiet and shy and teachers struggled to get me social or willing to speak in class. Friends even said I was the quietest and they have zero idea where this comes from.
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    But after years of hearing it, having them avoid me and saying they don't want me around their kids, I have decided I won't be and that anything they attend I
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  • 12
    will miss so I don't have to spend any time around them or their kids. The rest of my family tells me I shouldn't do that because my nieces and nephews deserve
    via u/Lulollio
  • 13
    to know me. But it's more of a headache than it's worth and there's no saying we'd be allowed to even say hi to each other.
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    Cheezburger Image 10535456768
    via Thinkstock from Photo Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 15
    My parents went nuts on my siblings over this and said how disgusting their treatment of me has always been. They told me my siblings are in the wrong and I should just ignore them.
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  • 16
    But it feels like too much to tolerate. So why not give my siblings what they want and live a more peaceful life. AITA?
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  • 17
    Czechuspamer ⚫ 14h ago WOW After 20 years, parents finally grew a spine and told your siblings that they are the monsters, not you. Sad
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    that it took them that long. NTA, your siblings are complete es here. Hope the rest of your family
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    will grow a spine as well and give them a slap-back-to- reality check, because they need it.
    via u/Czechuspamer
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    Cheezburger Image 10535456512
    via Sunny Studio / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 21
    • Uglym8s 13h ago NTA - oops baby here and I know exactly what you're going through, only my parents weren't on my side.
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  • 22
    Protect yourself and your mental health. I'm not in contact with my siblings and I'm better for it. We're all in our 50's now and if my
    via u/Uglym8s
  • 23
    siblings can't get out of their attitudes that they had when we were all children, then that's on them. My nieces and nephews are all adults.
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  • 24
    Again, it's on them to find out the truth and not be influenced by the childish spitefulness of their parents.
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  • 25
    I've never missed any of my family and I was truly set free when I cut contact with them all.
    via u/Uglym8s
  • 26
    Live your life and don't give a second thought to your siblings. Good luck.
    via u/Uglym8s

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